u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
