The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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