This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
