the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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