No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
