Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
