New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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