Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
