I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize