people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
