Christians are straight up FREAKS
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
