I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
