Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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