I hope mine doesn't look like that
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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