I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
