I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
