so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
