Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
