I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize