My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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