I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
