Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
