He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
