at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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