Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
