I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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