better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
