you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
