the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
