Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
