Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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