just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
