Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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