They should really pass out barf bags in church
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
