i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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