Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
