How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
