coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
