I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
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I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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