Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
