Dual....:-)
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
