Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
