Define "chronic" masturbator.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
