ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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