That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
