your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
