thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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