your thong is hanging out like whoa
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
