Your tits are I can't wait for
we're making bets on your personal life
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
