his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
