that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
