It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
