i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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