The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Can I color on your dick again?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
