Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
All the doctor said was why
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
