Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
