Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
