There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
