like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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